Hi. It’s me again and, boy oh boy, am I ever in a bind!  I need new, close friends pronto, which is no easy task for me.  I lack social skills and am very lonely.  Last night, I wanted to call Lauren but she was frustrated and irritated with me!  I should feel that way about her!  She did make me terribly furious with her.  She doesn’t like being kept tabs on while on the phone!  I did NOT keep tabs on her.  My phone did.  I don’t understand what the big deal is!  But it should NOT take her nearly fourteen minutes to end a conversation!  She said that she doesn't get upset with me when someone beeps through and I have to take a call.  LIAR!  The calls are never for me!  They're usually for Mom, Dad or even my brother, but never for me!  And she said that there HAVE been times.  What a LIAR!  I'm about to drop her, myself, as a so-called friend.  She's been lying about me for too long on her LG and I'm sick of it!  She even ACCUSED me of acting immature and stupid!  That really hurt, but I guess she doesn’t understand and she never will if she keeps this attitude up with me.  I want the kind of friendship that Jonathan had with David, but we’ll NEVER again be THAT close.  We were once - I want it back!  Lauren is the type of person who can make friends with the snap of your fingers, but me..? well, let’s just say I have friends but not close ones and I want close friends.  Lauren’s the only person who comes close to that.  Because my mom told her that I had friends, she assumes that they’ll visit with me.  Not true.  Last night, she was talking about Erin and I told her that we were no longer friends and she asked, ‘Why?  Not perfect enough for you?’  Now, I know that no one is perfect, but still she mocked me.  Erin and I drifted apart, which means we weren’t that close to begin with.  I had two friends named Erin and we three drifted apart.  Then she got on my case about my friend, Caren.  She’s the only one who’ll ever come and visit me, which is, like, maybe twice or less in a month or so.  Caren has two jobs: working at her family’s farm and her job to pay bills and stuff.  I need to have more friends so that I’m not so lonely.  Lauren doesn’t fully understand how lonely my life is!  Well, it’s time she knows.  I’d, also, like friends who have similar traits in common with me.   I was well near tears last night and so very mad!  A friend would NOT do that!  She thinks that I’ve forgotten the meaning of ‘Best Friends’?  NO!  That’s her!  Last night, I felt like I was going to explode because she made me so mad!  Lauren doesn’t know this yet, but she’s been pushing me further and further away!  She's most certainly going to lose me as a friend if she keeps this up.  And, just so you and she know, there aren’t any church activities for people my age!  That’s why I dismiss her suggestions.  There is a logical reason to my madness.  She’s so caught up in her own life that she doesn’t even CONSIDER what she’s doing to me.  A friend LOVES at all times – Proverbs 17:17a; is she loving all the time?  NO!  Wanda Glaser’s right.  Lauren DOES have a hard time keeping friends.  Don’t you agree?  Lauren tells me that she talks to her friends about me. I don’t want to be TALKED about, I want her to be my close friend again!  I do NOT make close friends easily – she’s the closest that I’ve got!  I hate to say this, but sometimes I don’t even LIKE her.  Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.  She could learn something from this Scripture verse.  I’m putting all of my effort into this friendship to keep it going, but if Lauren doesn’t do the same then I don’t know what to do!  Lately, I’ve been treated like garbage.  So why am I taking it?  That’s a difficult question but I have a simple answer:  I don’t know!  I just want a friend with whom I can count on, who’ll be there for me, who has common interests.  Please, will someone come be my good, close friend?

I apparantly can't or don't know how to create a poll. I'm having writer's block and would like to know how you get over it. Just post it to this entry, please.

Hi, it’s Heather again. This Sunday, my dad and I are going to Wisconsin. We plan to return this Thursday. However, those plans may change. We’re going up for a revision of my left stimulator and I will, also, be programmed with bi-polar (firing between two electrodes), hoping that will help my tongue. I’m asking for prayers in traveling safety, and that I will not get another infection. PLEASE, GOD, NO!  Anyone reading this, please keep me in your prayers.

Anyone who saw what I wrote for Lauren Rodriguez’s (sifukatara) eyes only, I just want to say that we were both acting immaturely.  So, I IMed her last night, and we talked, and now things seem to be going better, thanks to the one and only True God! We even talked on the phone earlier today without being at each other’s throats.  And our attitudes are what truly needed to be fixed for the hundredth time!  But she was friendly, and on IM, and she actually shared a few things with me.  And now, I see and understand her point of view a little more clearly.

Thanks, Lauren, and please forgive me for saying those mean things about you.  I love you so much!

My parents and I are leaving for Madison, Wisconsin very early on Sunday. I'm truly scared, and I've never been scared before. We have a consultation with the docs on Monday the 10th, and that's what truly terrifies me.  But God will be with me throughout this whole ordeal.
Plus, I do NOT want another infection. I'm just freaking out over nothing - but I feel like it's a big something. I appreciate your prayers. Thank you so much.
God be with all of you,
~Heather

P.S. - If you're on here and see this, please pray for me.

Heather  

P.S. - If you’re on and happen to read this, PLEASE, please, pray!

Today 'Wendy' was talking to her boyfriend, Tyler, and she told him to relax and breathe like menopause, "who-who-hee, who-who-hee" and I tried really hard to stifle a giggle, but it didn't work. I was like,"Wendy, that’s Lamaze and childbirth" then we both cracked up.  It was so funny!